NYC, you're dead to me...
I have officially left New York, my awesome job, and my potential lover(s) (not really…) for bigger and blander things, like school, where I will trace the chornology of comedic rhetoricians from Lucian to Carlin (really…).
My final conclusion: New York City is the Internet. There’s a lot of stuff going on everywhere, and millions of people with myriad fetishes, and I only devote an average of seven seconds to any subject. This is truth. Except the internet is nearly free, and NYC titty-fucked my wallet. I love New York, and I will be back throughout this year until school ends, when I will move there officially.
Until then, these are the funniest things I’ve heard and seen in New York City:
Man on street corner: “Toothbrushes everywhere! Millions! It will be awesome!”
Man on headset phone: “It’s bad enough I can’t pay my fuckin’ rent on time. Mother fucker, do you even know what that’s like? To get shit from you for this fuckin’ bullshit. I’m sick of hearin you open your fucking mouth about it- Mom? MOM?!!”
And have you seen those signs for Gossip Girl that just use shitty reviews to their advantage? They’re like: “Very bad for you,” or “a nasty piece of work.” As in “watching this show is bad for you…Seriously, don’t watch this show. It will make you stupid. I would rather chew tinfoil while being forced to watch ‘I Want to Work for Diddy’ than this atrocious, malignant, nasty piece of work.” -Sun Times.
I hope the next ad just says: “Gossip Girl Sucks Balls!” That will attract thousands.
Here is something related:
